you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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