how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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