His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
