these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
