before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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