ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
