Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
