Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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