Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
