just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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