That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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