You work out of a Hotel?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
