He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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