we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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