There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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