Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
