I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I have tasted many bathrooms
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize