Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The ass gains better be worth it
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
