WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
When did angry sex become our thing?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
