nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
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APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
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You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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