my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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