The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I need a beard to bite.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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