I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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