Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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