I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
