she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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