Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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