I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
