You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
