it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
