Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It's official drugs can't kill me
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
