absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
