When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
where are my eyebrows?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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