rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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