you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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