he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
