Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
