Don't you send me to vm
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
