This girl is more easily done than said...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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