Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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