New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
