A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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