this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
