im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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