Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He passed out mid-signature
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
