I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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