If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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