"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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