You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
