he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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