Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
