Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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