I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize