I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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