ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Shame is for Republicans.
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