Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize