i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
