Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
