just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
