I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
