I hate your face
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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