I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
