Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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