Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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