I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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