Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
