Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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